In association with the organizers of Wonder Cartacomb and “Alejandro Industries,” we are proud to announce that the Annual Arachnid Art Hub-Haus Foundation-Collective (to) Kindred Misunderstood Entities, or  (AAAHHFCKME) is now accepting applications for legible members to it’s residency. While surrounded by controversy, the organization was a long time coming, and members of the international arts community are responding. “It’s just no one’s ever really paid much attention to the kind of structures that spiders have deconstructed and then placed back into cultural relevance with more elegance then it’s original form…” recounts Sir Percey Pider, a staple in the much unappreciated world of contemporary spider art.

Sir Pider earned his title by proximity after installing a new piece in one of actor Michael Kain’s front pocket’s, just as he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth for his service to the British screen in the year 2000. Sir Pider is in fact a purse web spider, and he lures prey into his murderous fangs by constructing a tunnel of silk that can extent up to 50 cm! As soon as the insect wanders inside, it is immobilized, and Sir Percey Pider sinks his menacing fangs into their abdomen.

But Sir Percy Pider doesn’t let his title get to his head, “I think the sort of attitude that permeates the art world has become one of elitism; you know, you see all these young spiders not willing to put their webs out there where anyone can see them, it’s always in dark places in the corner where no one has been in years…” There’s been almost unanimous agreement that arachnids have been either oppressed or passed over because of their genus, the number of eyes they were born with, their legs, among many other characteristics that today we recognize as superficial, irrelevant, and morally corrupt sources of judgment. He continues “There used to be so many small groups of spider artists, organizations that when separated couldn’t muster the resources of influence to get things done. That’s essentially how AAAHHFCKME got it’s name—the only way we could negotiate all of these different groups into a single, cohesive institution was to preserve some fraction of their original titles. So we combined them into a single, all encompassing institution.”

Purse spiders such as Sir Spider are most commonly found in Southern England, but can also be found farther to the North throughout all seasons.


The main institution’s title, being so lengthy, has led critics and supports alike to name it by its most prestigious program: “The Spiders Residency.” The title has alienated many hopeful arachnid applicants outside the spider-family, and raised doubts that the group’s exclusivity is just another testament to the elitist nature of the art world. Some members of this very vocal minority have even accused The Spiders Residency of conspiring to frighten members of the art world belonging to other species, and of a plot to commit “insecticide.” Percey and many others have argued that spiders are actually much more afraid of other, more successful artists than the other way around, and that without habitual insecticide, “pests and bugs would become too powerful and monopolize culture.” Percey was quick to add that Spiders had nothing to do with any mass murders, of which there is no concrete evidence.

Sir Percey Spider is Associate Professor of contemporary web-design at The Spiders Residency. He lives with his paler, much larger wife in a shadows of an ominous hole within the confines of the Alejandro Industries Warehouse in Miami, Fl. When asked how he made the journey, Percey explained that he hid himself and his much larger wife in the asshole of an unsuspecting European tourist on route to the party-city.